Rules of South Dakota

This was on the editorial page of the De Smet Leader that arrived today. I found it very funny and thought I would share it. I say more power to South Dakota! One of my top 5 favorite states in the union.

WE HAVE RULES TO LIVE BY IN SOUTH DAKOTA

We like to say in South Dakota that the weather keeps the riff-raff  out. But there are some other rules outsiders should be aware of.  Here is list we recently received via e-mail.

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight: It's called a gravel road. I drive a pickup true because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. You say our lakes smell to you. They smell like 'money to us.  Get over it.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're not impressed. We have $250,000 combines that are driven only three weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in, we will shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat walleye and northern pike and love it. You really want sushi and caviar? They are available at the local bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of pheasant hunting or the first day of deer season. They are holidays!

9. We open doors for women. That applies to all women, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the chef's salad and pick off the pound of ham and turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes--meat, vegetables and breads. We use three spices--onion, pepper and catsup!

 12. You bring "coke" into my house, it had better be brown, wet and  served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know  how to shoot, drive a truck and have long hair.

13. College and high school football and basketball are as important here as the Lakers and Knicks and a lot more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards--it spooks the fish.

15. College? Try South Dakota School of Mines and Technology, Augustana College and South Dakota State University. They come outta there with an education plus a love of God and country and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.

 16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines than any other state on a per-capita basis. So don't mess with South Dakota. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.